I love this picture, don’t you? It’s how I would have hoped to have looked yesterday, but the reality was a bit different…
So I felt pressured to go out with my husband yesterday (on a ‘date’). He had been working nights this past week and had hoped to spend time with me during the days, but as Sarcoidosis would have it, I was pretty much wrecked the entire week. I did not feel well once during the four days that he was free. So when Sunday arrived and again he was off, I felt guilty and agreed to go out with him.
Our “date” started with a lovely lunch at our favorite little bistro. The food was delicious and, although I wasn’t hungry, I really enjoyed the change of pace and being out. I’d been cooped up all week and it was great to get dressed and see people. My husband was having a great time, so after lunch we agreed to head to one of our favorite stores where there was a big sale. My husband needed replacement shoe inserts for work and both of us love the store itself, especially when there’s a sale. I really wasn’t feeling great, but decided that I could handle the trip, so off we went. Besides, my husband looked so happy to finally be able to go out with me, and I felt really good about that.
We got to the store and split up, he to find the shoe inserts and I decided to check out the clearance rack. I found a bunch of things and started to carry them but suddenly felt very warm. So I grabbed a cart, loaded my coat and a few items and headed for the fitting room. On the way I started perspiring and feeling a bit nauseated, but was excited to try on the clothes, so I continued to the dressing room.
I hung up one then two jackets, then needed to sit. I grabbed the little stool, sat down and threw the other things on the floor. No energy to hang them. I was able to stand again and try a couple things on quickly before I realized that this wasn’t going well. So again I sat, this time feeling dizzy. Meanwhile, my husband had made his way to the fitting room, and was chatting happily with one of the sales people outside my door. He quickly got into one of his usual lengthy conversations, chatting about anything and everything, as anyone who knows my husband has witnessed him do.
But on the other side of the door, I continued to feel worse, nauseated and dizzy, finally having no choice but to lay down on the floor. This was completely embarrasing, given that there was a 2 foot opening at the bottom of the fitting room door and I really didn’t want anyone to see me lying there! I figured my husband would be done chatting soon, but the two of them just kept blabbing! Unlike women, men have absolutely no sixth sense, and he was completely unaware of what was happening just two feet from his feet! So as women have learned to do, I realized that I would have to spell it out for him, knocked on the door from the inside, and asked him to check out the outfit I was trying on. He politely finished shmoozing, then opened the door, shocked to find me on the floor! I told him I needed an ambulance because every time I tried to sit up, I got dizzy. He thought we should wait a bit to see if I felt better, and about 20 minutes later I actually did.
I got up slowly, looked in the mirror and was startled to see how pale I was. But I felt better, and was finally able to stand. As time went on I felt like myself and was even able to continue shopping. I didn’t buy anything in the end, even though I really liked a certain jacket, but the thrill of the sale was gone. I regret it now, because I missed a great buy, but this is what Sarcoidosis does. It just puts a damper on things.
I used to love shopping. I still do. But it’s not the same. These days I’d rather stay at home snuggled with a dog on each side, doing something creative, like writing about my stupid Sarcoidosis! I gotta tell you, though, the creative stuff is more thrilling…something I would have never discovered had I not gotten sick.
So for all the shopaholics out there, next time you don’t really have money to go shopping, try doing a project instead. You might actually enjoy it more and your bank account will definitely thank you. And…if you’re not feeling well, stay home!